what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize