Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
