So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
