Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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