Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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