Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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