I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
