words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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