Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
