So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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