Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
