Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
