Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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