Kiss
Puke
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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