Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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