i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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