I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
