I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
