just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
