I think my vagina is haunted
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
