shes about as inviting as chlamydia
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
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all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
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You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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