I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
