You made me cry and you don't even care
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
