I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Come share oat with me in your robe
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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