White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
