We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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