If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
