dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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