Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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