I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
