I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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