I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
