I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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