Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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