Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
