After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
