YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
