strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
