Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
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I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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