You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
