so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
