i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So much Jack, so little girl.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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