Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
