i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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