You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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