I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
