so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
two words: eviction party
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize