You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
