Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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