You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
