Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
