i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
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She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
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This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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