They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
