so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
