If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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