so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
