every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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