your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
