we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
