Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
pray to the hookup gods
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize