I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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