i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
