He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
