maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
im holly from the hills drunk
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
