Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
third nipple confirmed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
