I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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