She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We had to coat check the pizza.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
