I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
