Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
