i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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