Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
