I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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