he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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