I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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