If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
