So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i will never coherently bang her
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
