BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize