yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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