oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize