Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
