tell your sister to shave her snatch
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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