I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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